My voice cracks, fumbling holds me back each time I tell her a lie
Amazon and Nile flow on my cheeks each time I want to hide, yet try to tell everything to him
they know that I am not feeling well.
and I know that they are not feeling any better than me, just because of me.
Still, sometimes I can’t tell everything truth to her, sometimes I have to stay without saying him what I feel inside.
It’s a two-way perplexity.
They are in a place where all they can see is I’m still that kid whom they once taught to speak, to walk, to behave, to adapt the way of living.
And I am in a place where all I can think is “They can’t understand”, “It isn’t right to give any tension to them”
But it’s a fact that if I pluck all the problems from my mind and give it to them, all I will receive in return is a garland of solutions knitted in the thread of love.
But I always stand in between the “I should” and “I shouldn’t”
And I end up in hating myself a bit more for being a bloody immature who can’t handle her stuff by own by inhaling patience and exhaling stress
& in loving myself a bit more for being born as their daughter
& in loving them much more for always treating their imperfect daughter as Abhisikta…
Adulting comes with the caution of keeping things to yourself, away from your parents…