Is it adulting!

My voice cracks, fumbling holds me back each time I tell her a lie
Amazon and Nile flow on my cheeks each time I want to hide, yet try to tell everything to him
That moment,
they know that I am not feeling well.
and I know that they are not feeling any better than me, just because of me.
Still, sometimes I can’t tell everything truth to her, sometimes I have to stay without saying him what I feel inside.
It’s a two-way perplexity.
They are in a place where all they can see is I’m still that kid whom they once taught to speak, to walk, to behave, to adapt the way of living.
And I am in a place where all I can think is “They can’t understand”, “It isn’t right to give any tension to them”
But it’s a fact that if I pluck all the problems from my mind and give it to them, all I will receive in return is a garland of solutions knitted in the thread of love.
But I always stand in between the “I should” and “I shouldn’t”
And I end up in hating myself a bit more for being a bloody immature who can’t handle her stuff by own by inhaling patience and exhaling  stress
& in loving myself a bit more for being born as their daughter
& in loving them much more for always treating their imperfect daughter as Abhisikta…
©ruchiabhisikta

Adulting comes with the caution of keeping things to yourself, away from your parents…

5 thoughts on “Is it adulting!

  1. A Best Thing to Do Is To Say i’m Sorry
    For Your Challenges i Hope You Are Able
    To Soothe Your Stress Yet of Course to Intimate

    Feelings to Loved Ones You Totally Trust is A Path
    to All of What Emotional Regulation and Sensory Integration

    May Bring
    in Taming
    Stressful Thoughts
    And Even Actions too

    SMiLes Dear Ruchi i Never
    Related Any of my Challenges to
    my Mother Growing Up As She
    Was Already So Stressed As A Single
    Mother Raising Us Alone Often Exhausted

    By When Saturday Came Sleeping in to 11 AM

    And my Father Was Just Totally Emotionally Aloof from
    Us With Rarely Even A Word to Say However What may

    Happen When We Close
    Ourselves Off is We May
    Lose A Key To OPen Our
    HeART SPiRiT SoUL Back Up

    And Therefore Blogging And Therefore
    Your FRiEnDS You’ve Talked About Before

    And True i Understand What it Feels Like Not
    to Stress Parents Out By What You May Be Going Through

    Yet Also Becoming
    So Numb With Pain
    All that May Be Left to
    Do is Gnash Teeth and
    Weep Loud Enough in
    A Deep Wine of Why me mY FRiEnD

    A Major Issue i Had Was Closing off Emotions
    LeSSoN LEaRNeD i Will Always Find A Ways to0
    Express Emotions As They Continue to BREaTHE me Well..:)

    Liked by 1 person

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