Elegantly ordinary love

I have grown up
in a family
where love doesn’t happen
in the way DDLJ’s
Simran hugs Raj
amidst the mustard field
But where love smiles
in the kitchen
when baba helps mami
in household chores
so that they both can
shower punctuality
at their job places.

I have grown up
in a family
where good morning kiss
& good night cuddles
are the luxuries
that my parents can’t afford
and gift to each other publicly
But love crowns their heads
when their feet
tap simultaneously
on a morning walk,
when they doze
in a united rhythm
while sitting on a sofa
late at the night.

I have grown up
in a family
where ‘I love you’ & ‘I miss you’
are the sentences of
foreign language
that my parents don’t know
in fact, they never try to learn
But love sings
an ode for them
when she calls him
to interrogate him
“tiffin khaisarilani?”
when he dials
her number to ask her
“school ru pherilani?”.

I have grown up
in a family
where neither pseudofeminism
threatens my father
nor patriarchy
bothers my mother
But here interdependence
breathes freely
without the pollution
of ego & attitude
when clinging to the culture
she touches his feet every morning
instead of putting a question mark
on the equality norms of society
when smashing the set of masculine rules
he massages her feet every time
she goes to bed after heavy workload.

I have grown up in a family
where my attention while listening
Kaho naa pyaar hai
gets disturbed by the
explanatory talks of baba
to make mami understand the things
that she doesn’t know
and then asking her
for suggestions
to lessen his confusion,
where my thoughts while scrolling
the HD-quality lovey-dovey photos
of lovers on Instagram
with hashtag relationshipgoals & blah blah
loaded with dozens of colored hearts
get interrupted by
by the repeated shriek of mami
from the kitchen
to make baba have
his before food medicine in time.

I have grown up in a family
where romantic love doesn’t smell
like that of branded perfume,
where romantic love doesn’t sound
like Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect”,
where romantic love doesn’t look
like aesthetic couple pictures,
where romantic love doesn’t feel
like the petals of fresh red roses,
where I get perplexed
whether to mug up the definition
of romance, of love
that dialogues of movies tell
or to decode the ditty
of romance, of love
that my parents sing silently.
But as I grow up
my perplexity discovered
the flavor of the love between them
romance between them
how it tastes like
the delicious recipes of
paneer pasinda or mushroom munchurian
of fish besara or prawn dopiaza
which are named after
single key ingredient
but incomplete
and completely tasteless
without the salt of support
oil of loyalty
& spices of esteem.

Daddy’s little girl

Stars stop twinkling and the moon starts drowning in the ocean of emptiness
With the vanishing darkness, the sun rises

The whole city is wrapped with anxiety, delectation and cheer
As the most awaited festival Dussehra is one day near

The day which will burn all the sin, sorrow and pain
Life will be delighted with good health, wealth and happiness gain
With a golden opportunity to restart again

But after a sleepless night, that little girl is still sitting near the window of the clinic
With agony clogged mind tear flooded eyes & heart heavied with unending panic

Fully immersed in analysing-

If there is always victory of God over the devil
And good over evil
Then what is the mistake of her innocent soul
For which she is being dragged deeper and deeper into the suffering hole

Why so many obstacles in her mission to dream college!
Why is she being snatched away with all her confidence and courage!
Why the ten year long forecasted success now seems only as a mirage!

Ssssshhhh……halt to her dwelling in the past present future
When she only she is compelled to enter the operation theatre
Without her permanent armour, her mother and father

With the trembling first step on the o.t floor
Out of chocked tear conflated with fear her entire body starts to shiver

Within no minutes anaesthesia clothes her whole body
Because the doctor knows she can not see herself bloody

Now she becomes stagnant and feeling less
The only thing she perceives is swirling black lace around her face
For her is it Goddess Durga’s grace !!!???

After a long time, she listens doctor saying-
It is Almighty’s glory
Operation successful and now nothing to worry

When she opens her eyes
She sees a blend of joy and tears
In the face of her beloved father
Which she had never seen before
She promises at the moment at any cost not to hurt him further

The way the little girl loves her father and he values her
Defines the sacred relation between father and daughter

Is it adulting!

My voice cracks, fumbling holds me back each time I tell her a lie
Amazon and Nile flow on my cheeks each time I want to hide, yet try to tell everything to him
That moment,
they know that I am not feeling well.
and I know that they are not feeling any better than me, just because of me.
Still, sometimes I can’t tell everything truth to her, sometimes I have to stay without saying him what I feel inside.
It’s a two-way perplexity.
They are in a place where all they can see is I’m still that kid whom they once taught to speak, to walk, to behave, to adapt the way of living.
And I am in a place where all I can think is “They can’t understand”, “It isn’t right to give any tension to them”
But it’s a fact that if I pluck all the problems from my mind and give it to them, all I will receive in return is a garland of solutions knitted in the thread of love.
But I always stand in between the “I should” and “I shouldn’t”
And I end up in hating myself a bit more for being a bloody immature who can’t handle her stuff by own by inhaling patience and exhaling  stress
& in loving myself a bit more for being born as their daughter
& in loving them much more for always treating their imperfect daughter as Abhisikta…

Adulting comes with the caution of keeping things to yourself, away from your parents…

Mami for baba

Contribution of Mami in the life of Baba

1. He gifted her vermilion & she made him God. She became his ardhanginee & he turned her pati parameswar. How it feels to be God for your special one & an ordinary human for the rest of the world!

2. Accepting his mother as own mother, his brothers as own brothers, his sisters as own sisters, his family as own family must not be an easy task for Mami. But the ways she does everything for his family by treating them as own blood shows how much she loves baba to protect his dignity in front of others.

3. If being a father is a proud feeling for manhood, then Mami stamped him with this pride.

4. If his job is pizza, then her job is topping. Being a working woman, she assists her man in feeding the family.

5. She brews sugarless tea. She fries veggies with almost no oil. She puts less salt in curries. Because for her, his health is more important than his compliment. Her love is the secret ingredient that makes food tasty & makes him finish the plates.

6. From serving him food in time to preparing tiffin for his office, from washing his clothes to ironing them, from colouring his hair to massaging oil on his shoulder, she never retires from her duty of taking care of him.

7. Her fidelity makes him discuss every matter with her without any second thought. Her opinion makes him reach the point of the correct decision.

8. She waits a lot, she waits too long for him. Her patience dazzles with her devotion for him when she waits for him to come home to sip tea together even if tiredness flutters in her body & mind, when she doesn’t sit in the dining until he comes to eat after calling for ten times.

9. Mami always says to me & Sibu that it’s ok if we hurt her. But she warns us to never hurt baba. These are not mere words of her, these are the beads of her reverence for him.

10. From reminding him to take mobile before coming out to reminding him to take medicine before going to bed, She acts as a reminder that buzzes in his ears from time to time.


Ek chutki sindoor

His fingers painted dawn
on the night of her scalp
Redness embellished her mid parted hairs
& a forever got written on their foreheads
The destiny sang
From the moment on…
His gaze will be her grace
Her smile will be his sustenance
His arms will be her waistband
Her heart will be his weapon
He will pair her strength
She will repair his weakness
She will be known by him
He will be owned by her
She will be his lady in love
He will be her partner for life
They will walk together
for eternity & beyond.