Self-talk

Abhisikta! Some bullets are going to point at your head. You will feel hurt. But you should accept. Because acceptance is the key that unlocks the door to improvement.

1. You are 25 and you don’t have a job. I know that you had a fantasy of higher studies in your favourite subject, so you did. But now don’t let that fantasy overcome the purpose of your life. You realise the value of your life each time you see a poor kid, an abandoned woman, a helpless oldie. You realise how incapable you are from the outside with all your empathy stored inside. But before bandaging the wound of others, you need to heal yourself first. How can you heal yourself when scars are growing day by day? That slap you feel when your younger brother satiates your taste buds with his money. That punch you feel when those aunties and uncles praising your parents for your high scores once upon a time, now ask what their daughter is doing these days. That kick you feel when you return from a shop after choosing a saree for your mother, a gift for your friend and a colourbox for yourself. Abhisikta! First, remove those scars of financial dependency before they start scaring your worth.
2. Nothing goes to your brain when the book is opened infront of you, but your eyes are heavied with sleep or earchords are entertaining you or your mind is digging into the past or exploring the future. Kindly, close the book then. Neither put a question mark on your productivity nor deteriorate the potential of books. This doesn’t mean you will chill every time you don’t feel like studying. Take a break and return to your study table with re-energised zeal.
3. You watch your friends travelling, partying, getting hitched, and getting placed. And here you are still stuck with your studies. That feel of lagging behind is real. And you have every reason to feel that way. But don’t let that feel distract you from your goals. Let that feel boost your discipline & motivation.
4. You are an “all or none” person. You flush all the attitude and ego if you consider a person as your own. You gulp ignorance and silence infront of the persons whom you don’t consider a part of your life. But before giving the medal of your availability to others, you should properly examine their efforts for being in your life. Before turning a blind eye & deaf ear, try to discover the people infront you. I’m not telling you to be a potato and be miscible with everyone. But don’t be a bittergourd for anyone.
5. You don’t want the kid inside you to die. And you shouldn’t also. But dear, after reaching the realm of adulthood, sometimes your childishness becomes synonymous with foolishness. So bless freedom to your inner child only when the surrounding feels like home. Otherwise, wear maturity as your weapon to face this cold world.
6. You are insecure about your looks. Neither you appreciate your genetics nor you know how to apply cosmetics. You don’t think you look beautiful or ugly. But you think why you look like this, not like that. Miss insecure, have you ever counted how many compliments have you received for your eyes, for your tresses, for your figure? Are you taking care of them? Why those dark circles? Why those fallen strands after combing? Why those bulging belly fats? Practise some self-care dear. Don’t take the gifts of God for granted.
7. Being an introvert kills you from the inside when you see extroverts superseding you without having half of your talents, without putting in half of the effort you put. But how much time you have already wasted by thinking that you can’t do certain things for this nature of yours? Introversion is a superpower, not a weakness. It makes you more humane. Just try to come out of the comfort zones one by one which hinders your progress.
8. Stop feeling guilty for not reciprocating the guys who had claimed to love you. They have never loved you in the way you deserve to be loved. You know well how deeply you will love if you will ever love someone. Until you find someone able enough to dive into that depth, stay single and enjoy love songs. And never search for perfection, wish to have someone who can embrace the truckloads of imperfections you carry.
9. Nothing comes to you before your babamami. You never want to disobey them. But you feel that they are not right always. Maybe right from their point of view, but not from that of yours. Then don’t choose a rebellious reaction or an unwilling consent instantly. Cool your nerves and analyse holistically. Your duty towards them & your right on your life are two different aspects, but not antagonistic. Understand it.
10. Hats off to you for having the deadly combo of overthinking and underconfidence! How many chances you have missed by being trapped under its weight? It’s too much, Abhisikta. Find an escape.
11. “Why I couldn’t become a doctor” This wind of regret touches you often. Next time it tries to touch you, just remember that doctors don’t always save lives, but sometimes they fail to do so inspite of how hard they try. Then ask “Does the girl who shivers at the thought of hurting people physically or emotionally deserve to be a doctor?” Destiny didn’t snatch an MBBS seat from you dear. It snatched away quintals of self-guilt that you could have gained by coming to this profession. Now don’t say ‘Huh’ by correlating this with the ‘Grapes & fox’ story. Instead, keep your faith firm in God’s plan for you.
12. Slangs, smoke, booze etc are not cups of your tea. So you should never leave the virtues you have clung till now just to fit into today’s so-called cool generation. You do not need to try these practically. But having theoretical knowledge is not a bad idea. Sometimes it may help you to identify an anonymous word, a coloured liquid, or a distinct smell.
    ©ruchiabhisikta

When you don’t feel like talking to anyone, talk to yourself😛Because selftalk is also a form of healer.

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