Abhisikta! Some bullets are going to point at your head. You will feel hurt. But you should accept. Because acceptance is the key that unlocks the door to improvement.

  1. You are 25 and you don’t have a job. I know that you had a fantasy of higher studies in your favourite subject, so you did. But now don’t let that fantasy overcome the purpose of your life. You realise the value of your life each time you see a poor kid, an abandoned woman, a helpless oldie. You realise how incapable you are from the outside with all your empathy stored inside. But before bandaging the wound of others, you need to heal yourself first. How can you heal yourself when scars are growing day by day? That slap you feel when your younger brother satiates your taste buds with his money. That punch you feel when those aunties and uncles praising your parents for your high scores once upon a time, now ask what their daughter is doing these days. That kick you feel when you return from a shop after choosing a saree for your mother, a gift for your friend and a colourbox for yourself. Abhisikta! First, remove those scars of financial dependency before they start scaring your worth.
  2. Nothing goes to your brain when the book is opened infront of you, but your eyes are heavied with sleep or earchords are entertaining you or your mind is digging into the past or exploring the future. Kindly, close the book then. Neither put a question mark on your productivity nor deteriorate the potential of books. This doesn’t mean you will chill every time you don’t feel like studying. Take a break and return to your study table with re-energised zeal.
  3. You watch your friends travelling, partying, getting hitched, and getting placed. And here you are still stuck with your studies. That feel of lagging behind is real. And you have every reason to feel that way. But don’t let that feel distract you from your goals. Let that feel boost your discipline & motivation.
  4. You are an “all or none” person. You flush all the attitude and ego if you consider a person as your own. You gulp ignorance and silence infront of the persons whom you don’t consider a part of your life. But before giving the medal of your availability to others, you should properly examine their efforts for being in your life. Before turning a blind eye & deaf ear, try to discover the people infront you. I’m not telling you to be a potato and be miscible with everyone. But don’t be a bittergourd for anyone.
  5. You don’t want the kid inside you to die. And you shouldn’t also. But dear, after reaching the realm of adulthood, sometimes your childishness becomes synonymous with foolishness. So bless freedom to your inner child only when the surrounding feels like home. Otherwise, wear maturity as your weapon to face this cold world.
  6. You are insecure about your looks. Neither you appreciate your genetics nor you know how to apply cosmetics. You don’t think you look beautiful or ugly. But you think why you look like this, not like that. Miss insecure, have you ever counted how many compliments have you received for your eyes, for your tresses, for your figure? Are you taking care of them? Why those dark circles? Why those fallen strands after combing? Why those bulging belly fats? Practise some self-care dear. Don’t take the gifts of God for granted.
  7. Being an introvert kills you from the inside when you see extroverts superseding you without having half of your talents, without putting in half of the effort you put. But how much time you have already wasted by thinking that you can’t do certain things for this nature of yours? Introversion is a superpower, not a weakness. It makes you more humane. Just try to come out of the comfort zones one by one which hinders your progress.
  8. Stop feeling guilty for not reciprocating the guys who had claimed to love you. They have never loved you in the way you deserve to be loved. You know well how deeply you will love if you will ever love someone. Until you find someone able enough to dive into that depth, stay single and enjoy love songs. And never search for perfection, wish to have someone who can embrace the truckloads of imperfections you carry.
  9. Nothing comes to you before your babamami. You never want to disobey them. But you feel that they are not right always. Maybe right from their point of view, but not from that of yours. Then don’t choose a rebellious reaction or an unwilling consent instantly. Cool your nerves and analyse holistically. Your duty towards them & your right on your life are two different aspects, but not antagonistic. Understand it.
  10. Hats off to you for having the deadly combo of overthinking and underconfidence! How many chances you have missed by being trapped under its weight? It’s too much, Abhisikta. Find an escape.
  11. “Why I couldn’t become a doctor” This wind of regret touches you often. Next time it tries to touch you, just remember that doctors don’t always save lives, but sometimes they fail to do so inspite of how hard they try. Then ask “Does the girl who shivers at the thought of hurting people physically or emotionally deserve to be a doctor?” Destiny didn’t snatch an MBBS seat from you dear. It snatched away quintals of self-guilt that you could have gained by coming to this profession. Now don’t say ‘Huh’ by correlating this with the ‘Grapes & fox’ story. Instead, keep your faith firm in God’s plan for you.
  12. Slangs, smoke, booze etc are not cups of your tea. So you should never leave the virtues you have clung till now just to fit into today’s so-called cool generation. You do not need to try these practically. But having theoretical knowledge is not a bad idea. Sometimes it may help you to identify an anonymous word, a coloured liquid, or a distinct smell.

When you don’t feel like talking to anyone, talk to yourself😛Because selftalk is also a form of healer.


12 thoughts on “Self-talk

  1. Sensing Feeling A lot of Conscientiousness Yes
    Some Levels of Painful Perfection YeS A Whole
    Lot of Introspection That Yes is So Much Better

    Than Being Shallow in my Estimation

    And Dear Lord Dear Ruchi Your

    Appearance Does Not Reflect Your

    Massive Intellectual Prowess and Emotional
    Intelligence in How You Express Yourself in Writing

    You May Number 25 Yet in This Very Introverted
    Yet Somewhat Mischievous Look in the Mirror Humbly
    Sticking Your Tongue Somewhat at the Ego Of You my my

    You Look 10 Years
    Younger Than Your
    Numbers Yet It’s True

    People Who Associate With
    me Normally Do As Kindness is

    The Real Fountain of Youth No Matter
    What Other Personality Traits You May
    Inherently Possess From Birth and Most Often

    That Comes From the Start in A Healthy Wealthy
    Way of Being Nurtured By Both Parents Indeed

    As Your Devotion to Both Parents Does Still Imply

    i Have Many Connections to Folks Around the Globe in
    Free Verse Poetic Responses Just Like This And What They
    Most All Have in Common is Kindness And Conscientiousness

    And Yes Hehe Every Single One of them is Also Very Introverted As Well…

    Of Course Writing 11 MiLLioN Words of Free Verse Poetry in 110 Months is

    A Very Introverted Activity As Well Of Course Dancing 17,353 Miles in 110 Months
    in Public is Basically What Most Human Beings Even Very Extroverted Would Not Dare to Even

    Start to Do Solo And Paradoxically A Bit of An Introverted Activity too Yet

    the Activity Itself as Science Shows Yes Stimulates Our Motivation to Reach

    Out to Others By Opening Up All Emotional Channels From Head to Toe this
    Way there

    Are No Longer
    Any Strangers to
    me and While i Used
    to Not Be Able to Ever Start
    A Conversation With A Stranger

    Now it Flows Just Like the Dance i
    Do Solo Sort of Like A Star Spiraling

    to Light Up Foreign Worlds With SMiLes

    Best of Both Worlds Dear Ruchi Best of All Worlds

    It Seems to me You May Actually Have Room For Both of them too

    As At Least You Are Not Afraid to Stick Your Tongue Out at Yourself in Front of the World

    Without Shame

    Although Yes of
    Course it Would
    Be Harder to Do in
    Front of Your Parents i’m Sure

    Every Day i Dance And Sing i Face the

    Potential For Someone Doing Their Best

    to Shame me For Being Free This Way

    Yet It is the Activity of the Free Dance

    And Song That Both Literally and

    Metaphorically Makes

    That Impossible

    For Them to Do

    So In Other Words Dear
    Ruchi ‘Be Not Afraid’ Keep
    Sticking Your Tongue Out At Yourself

    And Ease that Perfection into Failing Forward in
    Ease of Loving It All DarK Thru LiGHT Chin Up And Tongue Out Hehe!..

    Trivia Note: Per That Lovely Photo i Shared of My Wife Katrina Sitting on
    the Front Steps of Her Modest Castle Her Sister is a Great Grandmother and

    She is A Great Great Aunt That Makes me A Great Great Uncle and True i Surely

    in Numbers At Least

    Am Old Enough to Be
    Your Grandfather Per the
    Ever Child Appearance in
    Your Most Adorable Photo Here

    The Young Woman That One Day
    A ‘Real Man’ Would Want As His
    Wife And The One He Would Protect
    The Most Just As Your Father Does i’m Sure…

    Meanwhile Yes You Look Way too Young to Be A Doctor…

    Meanwhile You Surely Look Smart Enough to Be A Doctor…

    Stay Smart
    And Sweet
    With The Kindness
    Wonder And Amazement
    of the Child Within Dear Ruchi…

    There is No Greater Human Being Beauty For Real Yes

    Again For it is the Love We Give That is All We Leave Behind

    And in Essence Take With Us to The Beyond of LoVE iN God’s EYes For Real…

    You Already

    Possess the Greatest
    Gift to Give mY FRiEND

    And Keep ReaLesT oF ALL ETeRNaLLY NeW NoW..:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hats off to you dear friend for the way you let your verses flow freely just as dance steps…
      Thanks for your time in reading my rants and sending some sweet words🌼
      I should say that the things you left in trivia note are really precious🍀

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks Dear Ruchi Yesterday
        We Visited Katrina’s Sister’s
        Church For A Sunday Dinner
        On The Grounds And One
        Of The Newer Member’s
        Of Her Church Asked
        If Katrina Was The
        Daughter Of Her
        Sister Just Another
        Trivia Note That Her
        Sister Has Had To Hear
        More Than Once Yet This
        Was Much More Hilarious
        As When Katrina’s Sister
        Corrected The Member
        They Said They Figured
        Either She Or me Was
        The Child of Her Sister
        Who Is Five Years Younger
        Than me Flabbergasted
        She Quickly Became
        Just Another Trivia
        Note How We All
        So Vastly Perceive
        Our Worlds Differently
        Best With SMiles As it All


        With Laughs Yet
        i Didn’t Show The
        Church Member
        A Record Of All
        my MileAge With SMiles
        That Could Have Created A
        ‘Fredache’ A Term

        my Wife Coined
        After Listening
        To too Many Of

        my Free

        Liked by 1 person

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