Why so casual?

My generation sees the colour of independence by breaking the rules of nature and ancestors. My generation gets happiness by forgetting morals. My generation tags monogamy as monotonous. My generation calls cool to casual sex. My generation fears commitment. My generation doesn’t want to learn the language of loyalty. My generation considers patience as an act of foolishness. My generation wishes to graduate in sex before getting admitted into the school of love and marriage. My generation is getting modern by embracing hookup culture. My generation is happily letting the radiation of one night stand to invade their conscience. Sometimes I feel like is it wrong to possess an antique soul in this generation. And sometimes I feel like an orthodox granny thinking about what’s wrong with this generation. In today’s era when casual sex has been normalised, staying neutral suffocates me as if I am supporting it and venting my disagreement warns me as if I am judging it. But this contemporary definition of sex gives me a hard gulp. I don’t understand how this form of intimacy can happen between two people before living love and treasuring trust. How can one give access to someone to his/her body before a true heart-to-heart connection! How can a man lock his lips to those of a woman before crowning her forehead with respect! How can a woman hold a man in her embrace passionately when she has never felt a sense of fulfilment by burying her tears in his chest! How can a man lean on a woman when she has never told him how protected she feels while holding his hand! How can a woman let a man undress her before he succeeds to discover the emotions hidden in her heart! How can one negotiate with her/his long-accumulated dignity and devotion for the sake of temporary pleasure! And what kind of pleasure this is! The pleasure you are buying for your body at the cost of the permanence of your soul! Still, you become ready without any guilt because life is short and it should be enjoyed in the moment itself. It happens because porn has made you believe that sex is something dirty. Movies have shown you that casual sex is a fun ride. Novels have told you that sex without emotions is an escape from heartbreak. But tell me! What’s the meaning of physical mingling with someone before all your senses become saturated with the love of that person? And once your heart, your soul, your senses become saturated with the love of someone, you become immiscible to any other being. If you think that life is too short to wait for your special someone and to promise your emotional and physical possession to a single person, then dear remember that life is not too long for hopping from one person to another and losing a part of yours each time. Because in the end, you may find yourself standing at the opposite pole of love and loyalty from where there is no way back. How much the world may advance, something shouldn’t be replaced in the name of modernity because they are most beautiful in the traditional way. Making love is one such thing. Traditional means I’m not saying about marrying a stranger and getting naked on the fourth night itself. I mean to say not leaving your values, keeping things slow, having faith in the process and not allowing your fidelity to slip away. If you gaze at a newborn baby deeply, you will realise how nature gifts to two people in love and why you shouldn’t treat your body and that of others so casually without being really in love with other. Contraceptives are meant to prevent population, not to hide the deeds you do in the veil of freedom. Now some will say that sex just happens. Maybe, you are right. But if it happens with multiple persons randomly, then you don’t deserve to be categorised under the most intelligent creation of God. Physical attraction is real and sex is a need. But these things shouldn’t be arbitrary. Kisses, cuddles and coitus shouldn’t be random. Because sex is not dirty. Your love restores your sanctity while losing your virginity. Sex is not just for fun. It brings a sense of responsibility in you. Sex is something hollow or nothing at all if it happens without promising all the romanticism of your heart to that person, without opening the sanctum sanctorum of your soul for that person. Adulting boosts you with the power to distinguish between what is wrong and what is right. Still in life, you meet some people in the field out beyond the idea of right doing and wrong doing. That is when, you should decide how long to stay and how long to travel. Because social and ethical boundaries are not always meant to cage you, but are sometimes meant to give you a chance to halt, observe and move in the right direction.
©ruchiabhisikta

I just wrote what I feel. You may disagree because views vary from person to person.

17 thoughts on “Why so casual?

    1. Yeah Arjun, I do agree that it’s too difficult to control our monkey mind. But controlling seems bit less difficult when you prioritise your moral values than your bodily pleasure and become empathetic towards the emotions of others.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. but moral values are subjected to change. Today’s society considers one night stands, live in together etc as moral values not immoral ones and also it varies with respect to persons.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Oh the Paradoxes of Life Dear Ruchi
    Number one Perhaps oF All Hell Will

    Come From Heaven as Abundance May

    Be As Deleterious AS SCaRCiTY iNDeed

    We aRe Not That Far Removed From Rodents
    And Monkeys Who When Presented With A Lever

    For Cocaine or Even Sugar Will Consume It Until They

    Die Or Fall Asleep Forever in A Sugar Coma too Do We Doubt

    Humans Are
    Not Immune
    to This Paradox
    of Heaven Makes
    Hell For Real True

    Even Scientific Studies With Rats
    Tend to Relate Our So-Called ‘First
    World Problems Now’ Where in the United
    States 52 Percent of Folks Making 150,000 to
    200,000 Dollars Actually Live Pay-Check to Pay-Check
    As Recently Assessed. True, Back in the 60’s A Man Called

    John B. Calhoun Organized An Experiment on A Rat Utopia
    Casually Described As the ‘Beautiful Ones’ Then Where Limited
    Space Was Provided And All Rats Can Eat And What Happened After

    That is They Lost All Drive to Fulfill Traditional Rat Roles of Life Like Defending
    Their Territories And Competing For Mates And Of Course There Was no Need to

    Forage For Subsistence As that Was Provided For Free So The Females Became More
    Aggressive With Each Other And Less Cooperative And the Males Incessantly Groomed

    Their Selves All Day Long and Did Lose All Interest in Any Defense of Their Territories

    And True They Lost All Interest in Reproduction with Female Rats And the Very

    Predictable Results of that was Eventually that Group of Rats Went

    Extinct in the All You Can And Will Eat Free Buffet Line of

    Food Provided By

    Humans

    of Course Then

    So What does This Have to
    Do With All You Will Do Sex
    And ‘Downloading as Many Varieties
    of Pretty Birds’ Until You Are No Longer

    Even Interested in Birds Any More At All

    Pull the Lever Monkey Pull the Lever Again

    Until Nothing Tastes Like Sugar And All

    Of Life Becomes Sour And Bitter

    As There is no More Hell

    To Pay

    For Heaven Again…

    SMiLes Dear FRiEnD We LiVE iN
    An Age of Tremendous Abundance
    And Indeed Your Generation is Assessed
    As the Most Depressed, Anxious, And Lonely

    Generation As Far As Empirical Studies Relate
    in Our Modern Science Assessed Days And Indeed

    The Irony is Again It is one Where Heaven Makes Hell

    We aRe the Most Connected And the Least Warmly Connected

    We Are the Deepest in Instant Gratification and the Shallowest

    in What it Takes to Create Peace Inhaling And LoVE Exhaling For

    Real Embracing Thorns And FLoWeRS RiSinG Roses For Real Instead

    of Leaving the
    Thorns Out

    And Dying Flowers
    From Too Much
    Fertilizer And Rain

    SMiLes We Just Came Out of A
    6 Week Drought And The Flowers
    That Survived That Drought Before
    The Rain Most Beautiful of All True

    The Roots Had to Reach Deeper to Color the ‘Moon’

    And There’s Probably A Reason too Why i Write The Way i Do
    For It’s True Today is the 111th month Anniversary of Escaping
    HeLL ON EartH For Real for 66 Months i Understand WHere Heaven

    Comes From
    Hell the Best

    For How Much One Will
    Appreciate Every Inhale
    of Peace Exhale of Love

    For Real After Living 66 Months
    With the Worst Pain Known to
    Humankind Type Trigeminal
    Neuralgia From Wake to Sleep
    No Drug Would Touch And the Worse
    Pain Than That Not Being Able to Remember

    the Feeling if You Ever Smiled At All Which Yes
    Means Every Second is A Thousand Years of Hell

    Where it Doesn’t Matter That You Are Financially Independent
    And Will Never Need Money again For What Hurts the Most is
    You Cannot Even Feel Love When it Lays Next to You Yet You See

    Some Folks Have No Idea What They are even Missing mY FRiEnD

    For Anyone Who Believes Sex is the Best Feeling in the World As Never

    Touching the
    Face of God
    Laying Next to Them

    Some Folks Say the Brain
    is the Greatest Sexual Organ

    Yet For Those Who Are Souls

    There is No Comparison for that Touch

    Yet There’s Another Side of the Story of Tradition
    Dear FRiEnD And That is the Truth is if it Were Not
    For Tradition and Rule Breakers Neither me or my Wife Exist
    As Beautiful A Goddess And Princess She Still Is Sitting on the
    Steps of the Modest Castle i Purchased for Her in 1993 As True
    We Have Been ‘Together’ 33 Years Now Since September 21, 1989
    And Married Since February 21st, 1990 And What i Find So Interesting
    About my Wife too is She Fits the Image of Most Every Dark Haired Tan
    Skinned Immigrant to Come to Our Land So How Did She Get That Way

    Her Mother Some Irish Mixed With American Indian And Other Related
    Human Ingredients With 4 Children Who Sadly Experienced Severe Depression

    Was Lonely When Her Military Husband Went Overseas When You are Numb inside
    Truly Numb inside You’ll Do Whatever it Takes to Feel Something in Life True Some Folks

    Who Can Afford to Eat the All You can Eat Buffet Do that yet if You Are Without Much Money

    There is Always the Bar When the Navy Ships Dock For Their Liberties From Overseas

    So Yeah She Met a Pacific Islander Man And Strayed That Way And then the Fraternal
    Twins of my Wife and Her Brother Were Born Hardship that Brought to Her Marriage

    And Eventually More Poverty Indeed to the Point of No Food, Or Drink, Or Electricity

    Or Even Water mY FRiEnD
    They Didn’t Have Enough
    Money for even An
    Umbrella for my

    Wife to Walk to
    School a Little
    Less than A Mile
    in Freezing Rain As
    That Was too Close for
    the School Bus to Take Her to School…

    The ‘Christian’ Folks From Her School Spit
    on Her For Having to Eat Reduced Lunches

    Yet Just Like me From Hell it Takes so Little
    in Life to Make Us Happy Now And As i Grow
    Older And Wealthier in Green Stuff Growing Like
    Mold in the Bank i Understand the Value of Scarcity

    And The Death Abundance may Bring And The True Value
    of iNHaLinG Peace Exhaling LoVE iN JoY oF LiGHT Giving
    Sharing Caring Healing For All With Most Respect And Least Harm

    When the Giving Becomes Receiving Those Levers of Cocaine and
    Sugar in Monkey Hell Are No Where to Be Found Or the Rat Utopia
    of the 60’s in that Experiment to find the Real Highways to Hell And True

    i Come From Traditional Rule Breakers too in A Scandal Much Greater than
    The Colors of What my Wife’s Mother Did As my Grandfather A Priest From Ireland
    All Decked Out With PHD And the Such As Counsel to the Vatican and the Pope and All of that

    Tradition too Found Himself Woo’ed From the Pews of the Parish Catholic Church He Directed
    At Age 36 By A Young Cajun Woman At Age 17 Then as the Story Goes They Didn’t Consummate
    The Marriage Until She Turned 18 Yet Never the Less He Broke the ‘Cardinal’ Rule of Priests

    Getting Married then Yes

    Yet You See if it wasn’t

    For That Dark Haired
    Girl my French Cajun
    17 Year-Old Grandmother Then

    i Wouldn’t Exist at All True the Bottom
    Line For All of Us is We Exist Now The

    More We Lift Each Other Up Without Knocking
    Each Other Down in All the Paradoxes of Existence For Real

    The More We Balance With Nature And Don’t Go Away Forever my FRiEnD

    In Japan The Young Folks Have Lost Interest in Reproduction And Robot Dogs
    Are Replacing Real Dogs in Baby Carriages As For Some Even the Idea of Having
    Children is Disgusting to them Now And True in Other ‘Technologically Advanced
    Countries” There is as Much Interest in Cosmetics for Men As Women For Real Yes

    And All the In Between Natural Reality of That As There is Real Karma of Nature

    When We Consume More Than We Give Back Nature is the God For Real We

    Answer to Now For Real There is No Escaping That No Matter How

    Many Clothes We Wear in Winter or How Few We Wear

    In Summer mY FRiEnD Life is all About Balance

    And May Be Hardest

    of All to Find

    When Super Abundance
    Becomes Super SCaRCiTY oF Hell

    i Only Hope Your Parents Are Fortunate
    Enough to Find Someone Worthy of Your

    Intellect and SouL mY FRiEnD THere iS A Whole
    Lot of Intellect GRoWinG From India i Find Yes Women

    Still With Abundant Soul Too Yet Never Lose Soul mY FRiEnD

    As It’s True i Still Had Logic When i Lost my Soul Yet That

    Was Only A

    Material

    Good in Hell Then…

    Anyway i Took This Picture
    of my DarK Haired Princess
    A Couple of Weeks Ago When
    The Afternoon Sun Peaks You

    Will Practically Live Forever Young At even
    52 As Far Away From Menopause As Beauty
    Remains Through Soul of Balance Most She
    Didn’t Have Any Ambition in Life Yet to LoVE mY FRiEnD

    School and Work And Money Took That Away Yet Soul Brings it Back

    For me NoW ETeRNaLLY It’s True When We Put People Any Further Down the to Do List
    of Life They Get Lost and So Do We in Whatever It is We Buy Next of CuLTuRaL Clothes…

    As Poor As my Wife’s Mother Was if There Was Someone Poorer Who Needed A Place

    To Stay She Opened Her Home to Them True There Were No Homeless Souls For Her…

    The ‘Tradition’

    of Human LiVES oN…

    Hehe i Glimpsed At the Notifications
    on my Smart Phone to See You Recognized
    Something i Wrote Before And Looking Up

    i Saw i Forgot the Most Human Part of me

    SMiLes Dear Ruchi SMiLes Dear Ruchi
    You Are FULLY Human A Rare Gift Indeed…

    And if i Was Your Father any Husband Would
    Have Hell to Pay if He Treated You Less Than Heaven For Real…

    Hehe, It’s Probably Just as Well i Have No Living Children As i’m
    Not in Jail, Haha…

    Indeed It’s a

    ‘Jungle’ Out THere
    And A Concrete
    One Cold And
    So Lonely
    For Many mY FRiEnD..:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Can you please tell me how much patience and kindness it takes to leave such long free verses in the comment box of someone?
      How cosmic your heart is, dear friend?
      I feel happy, infact lucky to receive feedbacks from you on my blog.
      Coming to father topic, I still buy dresses after getting a thumbs up from my father. But I have never received any comment or compliment from him for my writings. I don’t show him any of these because I don’t want him to feel like his Ruchi has grown up much to have thoughts like these. So it feels great to know that an elder like you of my father’s generation reads my thoughts and shares own views on them.
      Thanks for letting me know about rat utopia. And the line “Downloading as many varieties of pretty birds until you are no longer interested in birds” is really funny with a deep message inside. I liked it.
      It felt nice to know about the journey of your dark haired lady from pain to prosperity. In these 32 years of togetherness she must have partially forgotten her painful past. I wish you both to cherish your love till eternity❤️
      Aaaaaaaand I must say thanks thanks thanks to you for bringing your beautiful lady from that tiny dp of you to this stunning photo. Hey friend! You have to stay young for 30 years more for the sake of this lovely lady of yours😛😛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. SMiles Dear Ruchi
        Really A Moral
        Of The Entire
        Story is Fairy
        Tales Come Real
        Through Hell And
        Heaven Same All
        A Play of Life A Never
        Ending Story We aRe All
        Part Whole God SoUL THiS

        Way i Never
        Get Tired Of
        Dancing Singing
        To All Of God’s Faces

        Namaste Dear FRiEnD
        For Real Minus The Clothes
        The Tools oF All CuLTuRES
        We aRe All Leaves Forest

        Whole
        Of This
        Living Tree
        Water Waves Oceans All 🌊

        Just Happy to Be

        i Am

        With
        SMiles☺️🏝🙏❤️
        Of LoVinG All DarK Thru LiGHT

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Glad that someone said it. Western culture has ruined Indians and Indian culture. Being modern doesn’t mean imitating what people do in western countries. You can still be modern even following your own culture and moral values. When you truly fall in love with someone, you stop thinking about anyone else. That’s true love. When I see people using relationships as use and throw, I feel bad. Loyalty is a big thing, not everyone has it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think we should live and let live. There are a lot of things in life and in world that we may not understand because of the way we are brought up.
    There are also a lot of concepts we will never be able to accept because of our environments or our close-mindedness.
    We can try to unlearn stigmas, but if that’s not possible, we can definitely learn to be kind.
    Whatever anyone says, it’s a free world. People deserve to find love and comfort in whichever way they want, wherever they want and with whomever they want.
    Humans are beautiful in that sense, to be capable of making mistakes and learning from it.
    There is no point in glorifying one way of life and making another seem undignified or vile just because it doesn’t make sense to you.
    People will never be stupid for the way they choose to live their lives. It’s a choice made consciously or as an emotional response to any trauma they might have had in their lives. We don’t know their lives, we don’t know what they have gone through and we definitely don’t know what they are going through.
    We are no god to judge them and we certainly are no better than racists if we do so.
    If we don’t understand certain things, its better to peacefully live our lives the way we want rather than judging others. Because if the tables were turned and we were made to feel less than ourselves for the choices we make – especially pertaining to relationships, we might not be able to handle it well.
    Just my thoughts ✨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Janani! I’m glad for your presence in this ancestral post of mine🌼
      And to reply you first of all I want to clear one thing that if you consider casual sex as open-mindedness, then I’ll happily categorise myself as close-minded. See, everyone has right to live life in own way and none can compel anyone to stick to a particular set of morals. But don’t you think that by spread of these so-called modernity, human values are downfalling! Ok as you said this is a free world and people can find love in whichever way they want, wherever they want and with whomever they want, then according to love is trading bodies for free without any emotions before and responsibility afterwards????
      In this aspect why did you tell humans are beautiful for making mistake and learning from it? Because dear you too know that it is a mistake, not a good thing to practise.
      And coming to your point about letting others live, who am I or who are you to restrict a person to live according to his/her wish. When their own instinct doesn’t debar them, then none can do.
      This is not about judging, but about saying the thing which I feel like pollution instead of staying neutral and mute.

      Like

      1. You say none can compel anyone to stick to a particular set of morals, yet you judge those who prefer casual sex in their youth. This is not “so-called modernity”. Sex and love are not things that you should equate. Not everyone needs love to validate them taking pleasure. It’s that what you need to understand. It’s not pollution.
        As long as two people are mutually consenting, and respectful towards each other, sex has nothing to do with love.
        If you are still unable or unwilling to understand, then we will just agree to disagree.
        Have a great day!

        Like

      2. Also, it is definitely judging when you tell someone how to live. I don’t mind when people have casual sex and when people decide to wait. To me, it’s their choice and I respect it. I don’t condemn either choice as it is their to make.
        But you do judge. I just hope you develop acceptance and still choose to have your set of morals for whichever reason you have them.
        The world right now needs more kindness and acceptance, not lessons on morality.

        Like

  4. Your piece was very interesting. Although I do not judge other people, I usually have them think about what they really want and what they getting into. Sex is a responsibility between both or all parties involved it should be discussed before engaging in the activity. The result of sex is procreation, and with multiple partners the increase of sexually transmitted infections (STI’s). People depend on condoms to protect from STI’s and pregnancy never taking into account the misuse. Then as results children are born to single moms who are stressed and unprepared for the responsibility of raising that child. Now this increases the need for mental health resources in society. Condoms do not protect from every STI. People should talk and be more open with the conversation of sex.

    Like

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